An Idiot’s Guide To The Beehive: The Clowns Running New Zealand

Warning New Zealand: The Clowns Are Running The Circus

Thanks to the incompetent stooges that are currently in ‘power’ in New Zealand, our little country has been repeatedly hitting the international press for all the wrong reasons. For those who may have been fooled into thinking #BanksDotCom was a one-off, he & his colleagues embody a culture of political blindness and contempt for the general public.

Therefore we’ve thrown together a little synopsis for you of current topical members of the New Zealand Parliament.

John Key: Prime Sinister: Professional history includes membership of the Reserve Bank of AMERICA (no, not New Zealand, America) & associated with institutions ultimately responsible for the global financial crisis. He is an advocate of using public funds to bail out private lending institutions & is deeply entwined with private/corporate interests, primarily of the overseas variety. Currently architect of an agenda to privatise the entire country out of existence, denying by omission the widespread grassroots unrest and discontent at his continuation of failed policies of the past.

Bill English: Deputy Prime Sinister: After a long history of political tomfoolery much of it exposed by his own party members on their various attempts to dislodge him, Mr. English is recently notable for his inciting New Zealand students to riot “like the Greeks”, an offense which is prosecutable, were it by an ordinary member of the public.

John Banks: Banks is now internationally renowned for political corruption; being outed by web celebrity Kim Dotcom as essentially being a living depiction of the typical cartoon cronyist wheeling & dealing sleazy stereotype of a well-heeled politician. Despite his obvious implication in wrongdoings, his ridiculous responses & actions to the initial accusation, he still remains in the circus we call the Beehive, today.

Paula Bennett: With a history as a solo Mum on prolonged government assistance including tertiary study allowances, this Minister has embarked upon a nationwide scapegoating of solo Mum’s on prolonged government assistance, having previously cut the same tertiary study allowances that she enjoyed, out of existence. At best a hypocrite. At worst, responsible for widespread misery amongst a sector of the public that desperately need support. 

Hekia Parata: Ms Parata has today declined to meet with the multiple stakeholders aggrieved at the Government treading all over them with sudden changes to the education system that conveniently weren’t mentioned by National during last year’s election. This seems to make her the National equivalent of the unelected “CEO” of Auckland Council Doug Mckay, who physically stands in the doorway of public meetings, preventing the public from entering. (The most expensive security guard in the history of Auckland Council). Ms Parata claims to want to meet with the parties ‘individually’ though from the look of the mass student protests, she is going to have a full calendar trying to do that.

Phil Heatley: the Minister in charge of “Creating Communities”: a program which takes public housing, evicts the impoverished tenants on little notice and frequently on fraudulent promises of resettlement (renovation/remodeling/then tricked into interim corporate tenancies then never allowed back into their original homes) then removes the housing wholesale & sells it to a conglomerate of three private housing development corporations to then profit off the rapid upscaling of a new high-end housing development; essentially making an entire community homeless. Children get ripped from their school (which suffers an ever declining roll until it is closed or worse, privatised) & families separated & removed from the suburb which many had called home their entire lives. Heatley’s lack of public acknowledgment of the ongoing Glen Innes Housing Defence actions, where the community is going to extreme lengths such as lying under removal trucks & physically blocking removal of public housing, to dispute their ill treatment at Government hands, is in line with John Key’s utter lack of acknowledgment of the current global unrest. Instead the Government put it down to isolated incidents in countries worse off than us; when it is in fact a global grassroots public movement to protect the global public from the rapacious appetites of the private/corporate elite.

Counter to the above clowns is Hone Harawira. Disclosure: I did not vote for him last election nor will I likely vote for him next election as I currently vote Green. HOWEVER: Hone is the ONLY KNOWN NEW ZEALAND POLITICIAN to have within the walls of the beehive acknowledged the situation on the ground as it is in the world. Not as the media portray it. Vast difference. The most telling thing about the following video is how empty the House is. The above clowns didn’t even show up for Hone’s speech. But for the fact that he gave this speech, and that every word in it was true, is enough for me to name him here as different to the rest.

Apologies to the Greens if you have brought it up in the Beehive & I’m unaware of it at writing, but 380 cities protested simultaneously globally on #M12 May 12 (not to mention May Day, May 15, May 25, etc etc) and at this point it seems obvious that any politician who has the opportunity to ask a question in the House should be affixing “in light of the current global mass dissent against failed austerity policies” to the end of it until there is actually some public accountability for the current geopolitical situation we are in!

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